On the Lighter Side

Okay, I admit it. Sometimes, when I am on the golf course I feel like I am meandering through a muddled mind.

There are so many considerations and decisions to be made during a round of golf – Wind direction. Club selection. Pin position. My lie. Medal play vs. match play. Is my partner in good shape? Green speed. Shot shape. How is my opponent is playing?  Swing-thought selection. Should I get a hot dog at the turn? Take dead aim at the pin or go for the middle of the green? Lay up or go for it?  Is it time for another lesson? Breathe in before starting my backswing. Do I have enough to cover my bets?

So how do I deal with this this chaos and disorder? My latest theory is that I MUST remember that golf is a game and a game is supposed to be fun. That doesn’t mean that I don’t give it my best whether I am playing in a tournament or simply with my friends on the weekend. However, I must learn to keep things in perspective and remember what the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1718 – 1781) said: "No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor."

With that in mind – and with the goal of playing better and enjoying the game more – I give you some of my favorite humorous golf quotes:

“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.” – American humorist and social commentator Will Rogers (1879 – 1935).

“Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.” -- Winnie-the-Pooh author A.A. Milne (1882 to 1956).

“For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.” -- Pulitzer Prize-winning American author and columnist Dave Barry (born 1947).

“Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance.” – British-born journalist Alistair Cooke (1908 to 2004).

“Is my friend in the bunker or is the bastard on the green?” – Anonymous.

“Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. The other 80 percent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness and conversation.” – Sportswriter Grantland Rice (1880 – 1954). Rice played football and baseball at Vanderbilt.

“I wish I could play my normal game ... just once.” – Anonymous.

“Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.” –Journalist and author Peter Dobereiner (1908 – 1996), who covered golf for a variety of publications, including The Guardian, The Observer, Golf World and Golf Digest. His books include Book of Golf Disasters and Maestro: The Life of Sir Henry Cotton.

“We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish but because it is good.” -- English golfer and writer Horace Hutchinson (1859 – 1932), who won the British Amateur in 1886 and 1889.

Smile Away!
Allan Stark

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